A note from Mrs. Barnes…
How do we teach kids to be safe in a dangerous world?
(Excerpt from Love and Logic, Dr. Charles Fay)
Let’s consider two different parents.
Jan’s parents love her dearly. As a result, they are careful to be caring and consistent. When Jan misbehaves, they warn her of the consequences. Because they love her and want to be fair, they provide another warning when she continues to misbehave. Since they know it’s important to hold kids accountable, Jan’s parents eventually provide a logical consequence when she ignores their warnings.
Mary’s parents love her dearly. As a result, they are careful to be caring and consistent. When Mary misbehaves, they ask her to stop. If she continues to misbehave, they provide a consequence without additional warnings.
Jan believes that cause-and-effect doesn’t become a reality until she has made two or three bad decisions.
Mary has learned that cause-and-effect becomes a reality after only one bad decision.
Repeated warnings create kids who may not survive in a dangerous world. That’s why Love and Logic parents don’t give them.